any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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