I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
