She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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