Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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