Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
