apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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