And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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