Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
