conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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