He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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