It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize