So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
