He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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