I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
