I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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