Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And then he peed in my hair
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