She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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