Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
