So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
