K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize