Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
