All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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