Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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