Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
