Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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