Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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