She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
