You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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