shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
