i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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