This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
