i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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