I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
