your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize