I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize