if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
