Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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