He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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