i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
COCAINE IS GR8
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
