U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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