Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He passed out mid-signature
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
