so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize