If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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