Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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