shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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