when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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