This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
