just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
