Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
