took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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