my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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