i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
