I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
