She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
