just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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