we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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