Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
