Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
