I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
