Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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