I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
