I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
