Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
