Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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