I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
