Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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